Fears by Karyn J. Johnson

I first wrote this on October 15, 2013. I am going to post the original piece in its entirety then add an update. Enjoy!

I read an article where actor/rapper Donald Glover, also known as Childish Bambino, (the black guy on tv show, Community) wrote on Post-It notes some of his fears. I thought it was brave of him as a celebrity to evn put those fears out there for the world to read and know.

We all know that fear is that bullshit emotion that stops usf from living our dreams, from moving forward, from letting go and just being better. We also know that we all have fears. Sometimes our fears are the same as others. For example, you are not alone if you are afraid of snakes, heights or spiders. Then there are those fears that seem like they were designed just for us because others make what we are afraid of look so easy when they have to deal with them.

What I have decided to do is to list some of my fears. Now what may not be a fear for you, may be on my list so don't laugh! I hope to look over this list and see where I should not have a fear of these things at all and be able to move on. I know I've gotten over other fears in the past because I'm stronger and better than I was five years ago, ten years ago and so on from the fears I carried then. Who knows, maybe if I put my fears out here, you will look at yours and we both get to a better place and space in our lives. I will also include the link to Donald Glover's list.

My Fears...

God is not hearing my prayers
I'll never get rid of my bad habits and they will constantly control me
My voice will not be heard
I will never be able to make up to my children the difficult moments we endured
My family will never heal from past hurts and disappointments
My mother will die and will have never understood who I am
I will die and my mother will have never understood who I am
I will never gradutate from college with my Bachelor's degree
The world will never see the greatness in me that I see in myself
My dreams will always remain my dreams and not my reality

*Note to self: Do not be afraid!

http://globalgrind.com/2013/10/15/childish-gambino-donald-glover-deepest-fears-instagram-photos/?utm_source=Twitter

**UPDATE...

I now look at this list and realize as of today, July 7, 2014, I am FEARLESS!

God hears my prayers. He just does not grant me what I want at the time that I want it because he knows best.
My bad habits can end wihen I want and need them to end. I need to disciplie myself and work harder to make myself better
My voice can only be heard if I speak up. Plus, there is always someone willing to listen
Nope, I cannot change the past and what my children and I went through but what I can do is learn, grow and use it as a lesson as I teach them
My family can and will heal but only if they want to and work towards healing
Yes, both my mother and I will die. There is no avoiding it. However, if she does not understand who I am that is not the end of my world. We have to have a mutual respect for each other's uniqueness
I WILL graduate with my Bachelor's degree! I started as a full time student spring semester of 2014 where I earned a very nice GPA. I completed a summer semester and I'm scheduled with fifteen credit hours for the fall of 2014 semester
The world has no choice but to recognize my greatness
The steps I am taking now will make my dreams a reality!